It is found that fathers do not share the same bond with their babies in the same way that mothers do. The oxytocin released during pregnancy fosters bonding between the mother and the child which implies that the mother already feels deeply connected to the baby even before they are born. On the other hand, fathers feel overwhelmed and flustered with emotions on the arrival of their newborn. In a study conducted by Oxford University, they concluded that no matter the intention of the father with their newborn, a more traditional relationship was developed where the mother raised the child while the father worked to support the family. There are several ways in which the bond between a newborn and their father can be deepened. Have a look at some of them!
7 ways to bond with your newborn
Take the night shift
Taking the night shift not only allows the mother to have a well-deserved break but also fosters the bonding process between the father and the baby. When babies fall asleep and wake up with their father, it helps them find comfort and safety within their presence. They feel more at ease around the father knowing that they are there when they sleep and wake up.
Soothe their tears
Being able to soothe your baby’s tears helps in boosting your parenting confidence. This creates an environment of trust and positive reinforcement within the baby around their fathers. Pacing up and down with the baby, rocking them back and forth and cuddling with them mimics the surroundings and comfort of being in the womb. Thus, it helps to foster a positive bond between the father and their child.
Make funny faces
Making funny faces and silly noises helps babies develop their visual, social and emotional skills. In addition to creating a bond with your baby, making funny faces helps to teach them and increase their social cues to seek and receive much-needed attention.
Baby massages
A calming and relaxing massage helps your baby realise and feel loved. Massaging your baby for 10-15 minutes does more than simply help with their digestion, sleep and steady weight gain, it also helps your baby feel restful and at ease around you and creates a good sense of familiarity with the baby.
Devoted time with the baby
It sometimes becomes difficult for fathers with busy schedules to spend consistent time with their newborns. However, this is essential for the deepening of the baby’s bond with you. Special playtimes, being a consistent part of their bedtime routine and occasionally waking your baby up are all ways for you to dedicate individual time with the baby. It helps them get the reassurance that you love and care for them, which is vital to the healthy growth of a baby.
Cleaning time
When taking time to clean and do chores around the house, it helps to put them in a carrier and strap them onto you. Keeping them close to you helps to get familiarised with your presence and scent. It is also a proven fact that fathers who indulge in doing household chores raise children with greater aspirations. So, take out some time and become a part of daily household chores.
Involve yourself in diaper changes, bath and feeding time
Diaper changing may not be the most comfortable or pleasant smelling activity. However, taking part in such an intimate activity strengthens the bond between you and your baby. Similarly, bath and feeding times allows your baby to recognise your presence and makes them feel more secure and happy around you.
Fathers also struggle with the pressure of becoming a father. It is not an easy shift in lifestyle for them and they do not have access to the same facilities that are available to new mothers. However, successfully bonding with your baby allows for the parenting process to be more rewarding and successful as it feels more reassuring for the father as well as for the baby.
References:
- https://www.fatherly.com/health-science/why-dads-dont-instantly-bond-with-babies/
- https://www.whattoexpect.com/playroom/infant-activities/funny-faces.aspx#:~:text=Here's%20why%20it's%20good%20for,for%20seeking%20(and%20receiving!)
- https://www.parents.com/baby/new-parent/fatherhood/bond-with-dad/?slide=slide_a04ca199-61fc-4b64-acac-14829746a92f#slide_a04ca199-61fc-4b64-acac-14829746a92f
- https://www.todaysparent.com/family/parenting/dad-struggling-to-bond-with-baby/
- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4336595/#:~:text=Successful%20soothing%20reinforces%20parents%20to,of%20positive%20parent%2Dinfant%20relationships.
- https://www.whattoexpect.com/playroom/infant-activities/funny-faces.aspx#:~:text=Here's%20why%20it's%20good%20for,for%20seeking%20(and%20receiving!)
- https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/baby-massage#:~:text=Your%20calming%20touch%20will%20make,but%20more%20research%20is%20needed.
- https://theswaddle.com/bonding-with-your-baby-change-diaper/
- https://www.bustle.com/articles/91355-15-fascinating-facts-about-fathers-according-to-science-because-you-may-be-more-like-your-dad
FAQ's
Q. Why is bonding important between fathers and newborns?
Ans.Bonding helps fathers build emotional connections with their newborns, giving babies a sense of safety, love, and trust. Strong bonding also boosts a father’s confidence in parenting, reduces stress, and promotes healthier child development in emotional, cognitive, and social aspects right from the early stages of life.
Q. Do fathers bond differently with their newborns compared to mothers?
Ans.Yes. Mothers naturally bond due to oxytocin release during pregnancy and birth, while fathers develop bonds gradually through interaction. Fathers connect by participating in care routines like feeding, soothing, and play. This consistent involvement creates strong emotional attachment and helps newborns feel equally safe with both parents.
Q. How can fathers bond with their baby during night shifts?
Ans.Taking the night shift allows fathers to feed, soothe, or comfort their baby while the mother rests. This routine helps babies associate their father with security and care. Over time, it creates familiarity, reassures the child, and strengthens the father-child emotional connection during these quiet bonding moments.
Q. Can soothing a baby’s tears strengthen the father-child bond?
Ans.Yes. Comforting a crying baby helps build trust and boosts the father’s confidence. Rocking, cuddling, or pacing mimics the womb’s security, reassuring the child. When fathers successfully calm their babies, it fosters love, safety, and emotional attachment, strengthening the bond and helping babies feel comforted in their presence.
Q. How does making funny faces help in father-baby bonding?
Ans.Making funny faces and silly noises makes babies laugh and engage, enhancing their emotional, visual, and social skills. Fathers can use these playful interactions to grab their baby’s attention and build familiarity. Over time, this simple activity creates joy-filled memories and reinforces trust between father and child.
Q. Why is baby massage beneficial for bonding?
Ans.Baby massages are calming and show love through touch. They help babies relax, improve sleep, aid digestion, and promote healthy growth. When fathers massage their newborns, babies become familiar with their scent and touch, reinforcing closeness. This regular activity fosters comfort, trust, and stronger emotional bonding over time.
Q. How can busy fathers spend quality time with their newborns?
Ans.Fathers with busy schedules can bond by dedicating small but consistent moments—like bedtime routines, play sessions, or early morning cuddles. Even 15–20 minutes of undivided attention daily reassures the baby of love and presence. Quality time builds trust, strengthens emotional attachment, and contributes to healthy child development.
Q. Does involving fathers in chores help bonding with newborns?
Ans.Yes. Fathers can keep babies close in carriers while doing chores, which helps babies become familiar with their presence and scent. It creates physical closeness and reassures them. Additionally, children raised by fathers who share household responsibilities often grow up with stronger aspirations and positive family values.
Q. Why should fathers take part in diaper changes, baths, and feeding?
Ans.These caregiving activities allow intimate one-on-one time between father and baby. Diaper changes, baths, and feeding help babies recognize their father’s presence and feel secure. Such daily involvement builds emotional closeness, strengthens trust, and shows the baby that both parents share responsibility in nurturing and caring for them.
Q. Do fathers also face challenges in bonding with newborns?
Ans.Yes. Fathers often feel overwhelmed by new responsibilities, lack of sleep, and lifestyle changes. Unlike mothers, they may not experience an immediate biological bond. However, through active involvement in care routines, play, and consistent presence, fathers can overcome these challenges and form strong, rewarding bonds with their newborns.