I can’t believe almost 6 years ago I got to hold my sweet little girl for the first time. That memory still gives me butterflies and chills. And the same goes for the day I had my second born few months back. There’s nothing quite like it. There are no classes or books or no elderly advice that can truly prepare you for all that motherhood brings. Trust me, in all these little over 6 years and also the period of 9 months from my first pregnancy I have read enough about parenting and motherhood. At the age of 27, I had no idea what to expect. I was beginning to settle in my new job and those two pink lines came in as a surprise for us.
Having our daughter has been a wonderful catalyst in our life. She has helped me make all kinds of changes to my career, attitude towards life and my personal life that have made me quite content as a person. As they say, a happy mommy is a good mommy.
An individual goes through a various transitions in life. When you go away to college, have love in your life, get a new job, buy a new house or for that matter get married. But I’d strongly say that none of these transitions is as earthshaking as the transition of being a parent. It is completely a new world!
When I sit back and reflect at the person I was on the evening of 30th March 2013, I barely even recognize her-not that I’ve lost myself, but it’s just that I’ve grown and developed so much more rapidly in all these years of motherhood than in any other span of 365 days.
With the birth of my son now I’ve been wanting to write down things that motherhood has taught me with my firstborn in all these 6 years and more to come with my second born now. I’m sure the memories of these almost 6 years will quickly fade as we move onto the next steps of parenthood with our son along, so I’m writing down my learnings to help my lackluster memory and other moms.
Motherhood comes with a ton of secrets. It gives us an advanced degree in life that translates not just in the confined walls of the house but also in the garden where our child plays, right into the boardroom, on the field and much more. I am sure there is no other job in the world that allows us to hone such a vast skill set. We mothers are a large group of women who take learnings to another level. What we learn in this process of raising a child is magnificent. Here is the list of things I learned in all these beautiful 6 years of motherhood.
Importance of Marriage
It’s been a crazy emotional and unforgettable time for me. All these years have been life-changing for me. The most important that I have learned in all these years is that marriage is not a joke. It is a difficult institution but adding in a little one to the family dynamics is even tougher. Having a child taught me to be more responsible in my relationships. It has taught me to be more forgiving and letting go of grudges and hatred. It has made me more receptive towards my life partner and his expectations from our marriage. I can safely say that after so many years into motherhood I am a better woman along with being a good mother and wife.
Importance of self-care and my time
Watching the child grow and move is one of the greatest joys of life for a mother. However, I would be lying that picking up toys, cleaning the house and folding tons of laundry isn’t exhausting. In fact, I may even feel guilty of taking out some time for myself, to put my feet up and relax a little, but I know it is necessary for me. In order to give best to my child, I have to do best for myself.
Living every moment
The pace at which the child outgrows your lap can be really surprising. Motherhood and, my two little kids have taught me to live every moment. They have taught me to enjoy every moment from day 1 of their birth. From the first cry, first smile, first giggle, to the first step. Every moment with the child teaches me to enjoy it, to live that moment to, my heart’s content. Time is very precious and goes by too, too quickly. With my two kids along. I am learning to live in the moment more and more. And also enjoy the little things with them. I’m a planner by nature and I like to keep our days busy and well planned, but I’ve found my heart happier and more content with just going with the flow a little bit more. I want to remember these beautiful days. They are truly the best days of my life, of motherhood and more.
It’s okay to not feel okay
Being a mum is the most liberating experience of my life. However, it can get lonely, heartbreaking and challenging at times. The unwanted tears, squeals turning into screams can really take a toll on a mother and you would want to cry yourself. But that one smile of the child tells you that it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be not okay at times. My child and motherhood have taught me to be me.
The power of forgiveness
There are a lot of instances when self-respect and ego don’t allow you to forget and forgive. Motherhood has taught me to be more forgiving. To let go of things that used to matter a lot at some point in life. Innocent mistakes of my child have taught me to see the world from her eyes and allow her the gift of forgiveness. Motherhood has shown me that sweating the small stuff isn’t worth my time and that laughter and forgiveness is the best and sometimes only medicine.
Importance of good health
After carrying and protecting two little pea pods in my womb for nine months I have understood that my health is equally important to keep my kids safe and healthy. From cycling that my daughter loves a lot to brushing her teeth twice a day. All this and much more is important for my child’s health and mine too. I have learned to keep myself healthy in order to set a healthy example for my child.
Keeping my child’s need before me
If it was not for this motherhood I could have never imagined letting go of my job and career of over 11 years. However, in order to give my kids a good life and a beautiful home I have happily learned to keep my child’s need ahead of mine. Her sleep, her play, her studies, her friendships and much more. I enjoy and cherish being her full-time mother. Motherhood has blessed me and my life in every way and showed me what true, unconditional love is. What a miracle and special blessing life is with kids around! To look at both of our children and think we made them. We made life!!